Bonnie Lee Farmer

Bonnie and Richard were next door neighbors in Yarmouth for several years and our friendship continued when they moved down the street to their new home.

Bonnie and I were best friends from first meeting her at the age of 5. Here are my words at her Celebration of Life. A great loss to all who knew and loved her. The video defined how truly important family was to her. Thanks for sharing.

Bonnie Reflections

I was very honored when the family asked me to speak about Bonnie. Bonnie and I were best friends for 71 years. Bonnie taught me the definition of having and being a best friend from our very first meeting at the age of 5 in Manchester, NH. My memories are all fond so I would like to share a few with you. I might add when I told Erin I might have a hard time expressing my feelings and get emotional and just like her mom, Erin replied, “I know you can do it. I am sure of it. As Mom would say, strong girl”. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Soooo…

I’ll begin with grade school memories finding us in the same classrooms and having the same teachers from kindergarten to eighth grade. We couldn’t escape each other. Bonnie and I walked downhill one mile to school everyday then returned uphill for lunch at home only to return to school for 1:00 then homeward uphill again at 3:30. That was our daily routine keeping us strong. We solved all our problems of our youth—jumping and splashing in puddles, walking and talking and sharing our day.

I can still remember our party line and her phone number, 624-4856. Bonnie and I loved to talk on the phone until our party line person would come on and click their phone receiver and suggest- “Enough is enough, girls”. However that phone connection never left us as we stayed in touch always.

Our love of the outdoors and exercise started by roller skating with metal skates that we strapped on our sneakers tightened with the metal key that hung on a string around our necks. That was our after school activity. There were no sports teams for girls.

On winter weekends sledding, tobogganing or flying saucering at a local hill going downhill then trudging uphill —dragging our equipment -kept us strong. No rope tows were available to us. Also we ice skated at a local pond. I reflect how Paul’s love of the outdoors must have stemmed from his mom as she loved being outdoors in the fresh air.

Summers we spent apart, which probably helped our friendship but Bonnie and her parents always visited us at the lake and we had fun as we ran through the lawn sprinkler, played badminton and horseshoes and then jumped in the lake to cool off. Good, clean fun! Our version of a Water Park!

Onto High School memories where dances were our social life. The girls simply walked around the gym in circles hoping to be asked to dance-the 1960’s version of a dating service. I might add Bonnie was never a Wallflower —always asked and was on that dance floor smiling away.

Maskers -our high school drama club-found Bonnie with starring lead roles-No one acted better than Bonnie. She was our Drama Queen and she loved the stage and the audience loved her. She nailed her roles -her favorite being Auntie Mame with an Oscar winning performance.

We both were class officers, National Honor Society members, and prom queens. Bonnie’s friendship gave me the gift of leadership.

College-we departed our ways as I went to UNH and Bonnie headed to Northeastern College then St. Anselms College pursuing her nursing career only to discover that teaching future nurses would be her passion. So she earned her Masters at the University of New Haven then onto her doctorate at the University of Rhode Island. Her nursing students were loved and inspired by her as she became Dr. Bonnie Farmer.

It was at St. Anselms Bonnie was smitten by meeting a young handsome Political Science major and fell in love with Rich. Her parents could relax now since she settled for a loving, responsible partner. A bond that was so strong that it lasted her lifetime.

Her next loves were the births of her daughter, Erin and then her son, Paul. Now her life was complete as she raised her family, taught her college classes and supported Rich as his pursuit to become a college president was foremost as his focus, which he achieved. But I might add behind every successful man is a strong woman. That was Bonnie.

Ohhh how I will miss our family talks about her beloved children- her daughter, Erin and her husband, Craig and her son, Paul and his wife, Lindsay. She shared their life stories with me. Then a deeper love evolved as a grandmother to Madelynne, Elizabeth, Fiona, Sadie and Clark as Bonnie delighted in their joys and tribulations and was so very proud of their triumphs over challenges. Catching up with family news was the cornerstone of our friendship.

After my marriage my husband, Larry and Rich became good friends. That bond was cherished by both of us. How grateful we were they liked each other. We visited Bonnie and Rich in homes in Yarmouth, Massachusetts Madison and Woodbridge, Connecticut, Smithfield, Rhode Island, and Tampa, Florida, but it wasn’t until they moved to Maine that Bonnie truly felt she and Rich had both “come home” and became true Mainers —complete with the purchase of their Volvo with the lobster license plate and becoming the very best lobster boilers serving up that traditional Maine feast complete with Katahdin Corn pudding. They also discovered the best fish sandwiches, Thai food, and pizza near them. Visiting them was a culinary experience of the finest. They were living and sharing the good and simple Maine life.

As a couple they enjoyed life to their fullest even when Rich’s diagnosis was heartbreaking but the two became gourmet cooks and authors. No one became a better advocate and caretaker than Bonnie.

During this time Bonnie also pursued a musical hobby. Self taught at first Bonnie learned to play the acoustic guitar and then discovered a community ensemble group allowing her to learn and perform for others. The stage called her again and she loved it and even was encouraged to learn how to play the electric guitar. Needless to say a rock star was born. She always enjoyed sharing her newly discovered talents with us when we visited and we loved hearing and experiencing her joy again. It reminded me of Erin’s Suzuki lessons on the violin when she was youngster q

and Bonnie told me that after each practice session and I quote “I remind myself of the Suzuki philosophy it’s not how Erin sounds but rather that she’s experiencing joy.” Joyful Erin was.

I will miss discussing our life goals and sharing books to read, which reminds me-Bonnie recommended me to read-Strong Women, Stay Young, which I highly encourage the women here to read. A great, inspiring read to stay healthy and strong.

In conclusion I saw a quote recently on one of those Dove chocolate wrappers and it spoke to me in Bonnie’s voice and I leave you with these words that define my best friend. “Be someone you look up to”…Bonnie, you will live forever in my heart as you inspired me to be my very best and will continue to do so…

I meet Bonnie at the Y in Freeport. She was a kind, gentle, loving person and it is sad she is gone. She loved her family with a passion. We had an interest in gardening and I am glad some of my plants are in her garden. RIP my friend.

Oh what a sweet kind lady! She always spoke so kindly to everyone. I knew her from swimming at the Casco Bay YMCA. We had a lot of fun times full of interesting conversations. I will miss her indeed. Prayers for her family.

Bonnie was a wonderful colleague, a caring friend. She brought so much caring annd love into every class she taught— and so many students developed a love of community health and gerontology because of her teaching. She was a wonderful teacher and a good and kind friend. I am saddened by her loss. My condolences to her family— I know (because she said so often) that she adored you.