Ryan W O'Leary

I remember times he and I would hop in my car and just drive back in 2000. He would choose the directions we would go and we always ended up at the ocean. He was different at the waters edge. He was calm, happy, and stared out at the horizon in silence. I would do the same but his face was settled different. His expression was something not seen at all away from the water. We would sit silently for what felt like hours but was not very long at all. He would always suddenly talk to me without looking from the view before us. The one thing he said to me that always has stayed with me, “life is chasing that horizon. You’ll never catch it, but the chase is worth it. It won’t be the easiest chase, it won’t ever go the way you want it too, but just keep chasing it. Never stop chasing it. The moment you stop, you’ll lose sight of why you started to chase it in the first place.” I never saw him like this any other time but at lands end or popham or pemiquid, something changed in him. They were moments I will always cherish and remember. He was the one person who never questioned me when I was ornery or having a bad time. He has always been the only person who would just hug me and tell me everything would be fine without lecturing me or giving me some sort of speech. I am so sorry he is gone. I’m sorry I lost touch with him. He was a wonderful person underneath everything else.

– Essie