Mary “Betty” Graves

Falmouth – Mary Elizabeth Lewis Graves (Betty), age 92, passed away peacefully at her home in Falmouth, Maine, on December 30, 2025.

Betty was born at home in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts, on a stormy January night in 1933 to Margaret Cowan Lewis and Charles S. Lewis. She was the second of three children, raised in a loving home whose life centered around family and church. During World War II, she collected bottles and chicken grease to contribute to the war effort and even moved to Mississippi when her father taught navigation to Air Force pilots. The family calendar always culminated on the last day of school, when they traveled to the beloved family farm in Sidney, Maine, to help with the hay harvest, slop the pigs, and swim in Lake Messalonskee.

A product of Boston Public Schools, Betty graduated from Girls’ Latin School and received a National Merit Scholarship to Bates College. There, she became a registered nurse and met her lifelong partner, Donald Graves. They married a year before her graduation in 1955 and a visibly pregnant Betty was discreetly handed her diploma, as a pregnant student marching in cap and gown was rather scandalous at the time.

Much has been written about the “Greatest Generation,” but far less about the women who built the foundation on which that generation stood. Betty embodied that strength. She could simultaneously nurse an infant, play Go Fish, and sharply assess a teenager’s hemline. She could make a box of government cheese and a single roast chicken feed a family of seven for a week. She sewed matching Easter dresses, refinished furniture rescued from the dump, and worked night shifts at a nursing home. Most importantly, she listened—with nonjudgmental sympathy, with wisdom, and always with a gentle push forward. In her home built on this strong foundation of love, intelligence, and competence, she raised five resilient children through the turbulent 1960s and 1970s, while keeping an extraordinary and high-maintenance husband ready for the world.

Betty’s greatest joy was her grandchildren. With them, she let loose and had fun. Can we ride the mattress down the stairs, Grandma? Can we stomp through the puddles? Will you borrow a helmet and skate down the hill with us? The answer was, of course, yes. As her grandchildren grew, her home remained a secure and welcoming place to usher them into adulthood.

Betty was also a foundation for those beyond her family. Her Christianity was active and grounded in service to others. She took in mothers who had nowhere else to go, supporting them within her already busy household. She traveled to Honduras to serve on medical teams, donated generously, and volunteered countless hours with organizations serving children locally and around the world. She also read to and funded trips for hundreds of children at Reiche Elementary School in Portland.

Betty’s life provided a strong foundation for many generations to stand on, grow from and, in turn, build for others. She will be deeply missed.

Betty is survived by her siblings Ellen Huff of Old Town, Maine and her brother Raymond Lewis of Brunswick, Maine; her daughter Marion Chang and husband Che-ming of Toronto, Ontario; her daughter Alyce Graves of Falmouth, Maine; her daughter Caroline and husband John Hodsdon of Cumberland, Maine; her son William Graves of Portsmouth, New Hampshire; her daughter Laura Graves and husband William Needelman of Portland, Maine; grandchildren Sara Chang and husband Pranesh Chakraborty, Andrew Chang and wife Samantha Frosst, Geoffrey Chang, Joseph Hebert and wife Sabrina, Margaret Nagle and husband Eric, Greg Hodsdon and wife Molly West, Lena Needelman, James Needelman, and 10 great grandchildren. She was predeceased by her husband of 56 years, Donald H. Graves.

A memorial service will be held at Falmouth Congregational Church, 267 Falmouth Rd., Falmouth, at 11:00 a.m. on January 24, with reception to follow. Arrangements are under the direction of the Conroy-Tully Walker Cremation, Funeral, and Gathering Center, 300 Allen Avenue, Portland. To view Betty’s Memorial Page, or to share an online condolence, please visit www.ConroyTullyWalker.com.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Greater Portland Family Promise or Immigrant Legal Action Project.