Deborah J. Duffett
March 31, 1953 ~ September 5, 2023
Resided in:
Portland, Maine
Portland- Deborah June (Wood) Duffett, age 70, died unexpectedly on September 5, 2023. Deb was born on March 31, 1953, in Ottawa, Kansas, to Dorothy June (Hagerty) and Charles Emory Wood. She married Neale A. Duffett in 1979 in Howland, Maine.
She graduated from Bella Vista High School, Fair Oaks, CA, in 1971. She completed a B.S. degree in zoology, graduating summa cum laude from the University of California at Davis, before entering Naval Officer Candidate School. She later earned a teaching certificate in 1988 and an M.S. in mental health counseling in 1996, both through the University of Southern Maine.
From 1975 to 1985, Deb was an officer in the U.S. Navy, stationed in multiple locations around the world. She then served in the U.S. Navy Reserve, retiring as Lieutenant Commander in 1994.
She began teaching in 1988 in the high school Alternative Credit Option program in Portland Public Schools, spending 23 years in that system, literally and figuratively saving lives: bringing books and assignments to youth in hospitals and jails; dragging kids out of bed in the morning to get them to school; paying fees for college applications, textbooks, and supplies; helping them get into rehabs or into the armed forces; and so much more.
Over the years, Deb contributed time, resources, and energy to several organizations and causes. Deb was active in Greater Portland’s sister city relationship with Archangel; assisted at Partners for World Health, sorting and filling boxes of medical supplies to foreign countries; and worked as a City of Portland election poll worker. In addition, Deb supported the Animal Refuge League by providing home-cooked brownies to the staff and by making frequent donations to benefit the animals. Deb volunteered at various hospice organizations, most recently Northern Light Home Care and Hospice, helping others to transition to the world beyond this one; in 2017, she won the Maine Hospice Volunteer of the Year Award.
A few words that capture Deb’s unique spirit include: generous, strong, tenacious, brilliant, and compassionate. She exuded an unending joy of giving, never expecting anything in return, living a life of radical love, with a deep spiritual grace.
Deb is survived by her husband Neale A. Duffett, a foster daughter Darlene Panzino, and nephews Jason Wood and Jonathan Wood. Deb is also survived by many dear friends, including Anita Charles and Kacey and Ken Ewert; by the countless students whose lives she touched over the years; and by her cocker spaniel Franklin. Deb was predeceased by her parents Dorothy and Charles Wood Sr., her brothers Daniel Wood and Charles Wood Jr., her sister-in-law Constance (O’Neill) Wood, and a nephew Joseph Wood.
A Celebration of Life will for Deb will be held on Saturday, March 30, 2024 form 1:00pm to 4:00pm at Keeley’s Banquet Center, 178 Warren Ave, Portland, ME with a service from 1:30pm to 2:30pm Arrangements are under the direction of the Conroy-Tully Walker Funeral Home, 172 State Street, Portland, ME. To view Deb’s memorial page, or to share an online condolence, please visit www.ConroyTullyWalker.com
Donations may be made in Deborah’s memory to the following organizations:
Northern Light Home Care and Hospice
225 Gorham Road, Suite 200
South Portland, ME 04104
https://northernlighthealth.org/giveHCH
Animal Refuge League of Greater Portland
PO Box 336
Westbrook, Maine 04098
https://interland3.donorperfect.net/weblink/weblink.aspx?name=E192136&id=93
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Mrs. Duffett saved my life. Many times over.
She was the only other person that I knew of in the 90s besides myself who used sage to smudge rooms.
Mrs Duffett allowed me to be myself and was the first person to tell me that I could go to college.
When I had my first child and started college she was right there. She had to introduce me to the book and movie The Secret as soon as she discovered it.
Mrs. Duffett saved my life. Many times.
I am so happy to hear that she worked with crossing people over at their end of life stage. I know those people must have felt the amazing tenner of her gifted voice. She could be so soft spoken when she wasn’t projecting her voice across a room to tell Billy to calm down or go for a walk.
Thank You Duffett for saving so many lives. We love you.
My heart is so broken from this tragic news. She is the reason I am still alive. She had shown me unconditional love, out of generosity that she always gave. She taught me patience and humility. She taught me how to be strong during times of adversities. It was an honor to know her, love her & form such a strong bond with her over 10 years. She helped me cope, survive through a lot of my darkest days when light seemed obsolete. She believed in me when if felt the world had given up…I to this day carry the healing crystals she gave me in ACO & know that an angel continues to watch over us all… my condolence to everyone’s who heart has been touch by such a kind soul. One of a kind she was. She will be truly missed by myself and many others. 🥹
I am bereft at Deb’s passing. We were the very best of friends on this earth, and I can hear her inside me now, working me through my grief, telling me it’s ok and that she is here. I have known Deb for about 33 years — we taught together at the ACO program in Portland for a handful of years, then both were at Deering HS. For 30+ years, we have called each other at least once every couple of weeks, and every single time she would announce loudly, “Is this Dr. Charles?” I have so many stories of Deb’s profound and boundless love and care for others — the stories would fill a book. She sent me books every month or so, mostly fiction but also whatever books she thought I might need at any given time, including (recently) books on grief. Her capacity for giving was vast and bottomless, and she has made this world an infinitely better place. I love you, Deb. You have made me a better teacher and person, and I will carry you with me in my spirit. <3
I’m just learning of this and I am beyond heartbroken and devastated. To say you left a positive impact on this world and on every soul whose path you crossed is such an understatement. You told me that departed souls will call for us when they are ready for us to know of their departure or when they think we are ready for us to know. I feel like I’ve missed so many signs you’ve sent my way. You were my mentor and like a Mother to me since I was 16 years old. You prepared me for life and the curve balls it throws at us. You prepared me how to deal with and navigate through and with trauma, loss and grief. It’s as though you prepared me for this but I don’t at all feel prepared. I will surely try to continue to live my days as you would and as you’d want me to by Loving and helping others endlessly. I am at a loss for words; there are no right ones. You told me it was ok to cry and encouraged me to cry my heart out and here I am doing just that. Last evening I went through all of your inscribed books and cards, listened to your voice on voicemail asking how work has been going. In recent weeks I kept looking for your Christmas card, a missed call or voicemail, a response to my unanswered message….My Birthday came and I was thinking of you and missing you so…as you were like a Mom to me. Something, a quiet something prompted me to look late yesterday afternoon and I found this. My heart stopped. Thank you for being you; beautiful you in every way. You literally saved my life and my soul many times over throughout the years. I am beyond gracious for you. I love you infinitely. I can only imagine it’s all things beautiful and magical where you are though I know your love lives on here through us all. I hope to see you when I get there. With so much love and gratitude to you. Sending an abundance of love, light, peace, healing and comfort to Neale and Franklin. 🙏❤️🕯🐾💫
Deb and I shared many students during our time as teachers at Deering High School. She was an expert at reading her students, knowing what they needed and providing it. Her spirit of generosity was boundless and inspiring. She’s a shining example of how much good one person can do in this world. You are well remembered, my friend.
Audrey
What an amazing soul!!
Deb Duffett your life was exceptional!!! May you be dancing all night long.
Neil and Family! I am so sorry to hear the news of Deb’s passing. I taught alongside her for many years at Deering High School and watched her become a champion and friend of hose students who often times were down and out and struggled with life and school! She took them under her wing and guided many to success and their ultimate goal of graduating with a high school diploma. She was truly very special!! Bill Moses-Standish
So very sorry to learn this sad news, Neale. Deepest condolences to you and all of Deb’s family and friends. What a force for good she was and what a positive impact she had on the life of our community! Thinking of you during this sad time and giving thanks for having known Deb and called her a friend.
Neale:
I am very sorry for the passing of Deb.
May her soul and the soul’s of the faithful
departed rest in peace!
Bob Schwartz
I wouldn’t be who I am today, if it wasn’t for her support and encouragement to finish high school. I went on to get my masters degree and help others thru years of social work. She motivated so many people, who others had given up on.
Thank you Mrs Duffet, this world has lost one of it’s GOATS
Mrs. Duffett was by far my favorite and most memorable teacher. I spent half my junior year with her and all of senior year. Like many others, without her I wouldn’t have graduated. Not only did she push me academically, but she shared many life lessons with me. Her sage classroom allowed me to connect to a lot of kids like me and a lot different than me and I still share those friendships today. I’m extremely grateful she was a part of my life.
Deborah taught my daughter at Deering HS and helped change the direction of her life, like she did for every child she worked with. She was an amazing woman totally devoted to her students and to their success. We are so blessed that she was in our lives.
Ms. Duffett was one of the strongest women that I have ever met. I met her in a very dark time in my life and her tough, unconditional love and support quite literally saved my life. Her love for me made me love and believe in myself, and I have carried that with me throughout my adult life. She was an angel on earth and I am forever grateful to have known her.
I looked up Ms. Duffet so that I could write her to thank her for helping me graduate in 2002, and supporting my choice to enlist in the Marine Corps. I was so sad to find this obituary. She made a huge difference during a difficult time in my life. I will be forever grateful.
Mrs. Duffett was my alternative high school teacher who once grabbed me by the shoulders when I showed up to school beaten up and beaten down after tragic deaths in my own family and told me, “You will be an attorney some day!”
Mrs. Duffett wrote me a letter or sent me a card every week when I was in prison. She provided the most compelling and moving testimony in support of my admission to the Maine bar. Without Mrs. Duffett, hundreds if not thousands, of Maine high schoolers with challenging circumstances would never have graduated. Some of us may not have even survived without her boundless love and support.
I will miss you so much. Thank you for being the light in so many of our lives and you were right, I did become an attorney, I just had a few bumps along the way just like you said there would be. You always told me I had angels watching over me, you are among them now. I love you, Mrs. Duffett.
-Christopher Poulos
Angels come down
From the heavens
Just to help us on our way
Come to teach us
Then they leave us
And they find some other soul to save
-Broken Halos, Chris Stapleton
I worked, at PATHS, across the hall from the ACO program. Deb and I had a couple of the same students. This provided me the opportunity to work with an amazing individual. She was always focused on student success and would do almost anything in order to make that happen. She changed the lives of so many people and left us with countless wonderful memories!
It has been a number of years since we last spoke but, I can still hear her start off our conversations by saying something like “OK Nichols, what do we ………..?” I will always cherish our time together.
David Nichols
PATHS
Graphic Arts instructor, retired
I am so saddened to hear of Deb’s sudden passing. We would always stop and chat while walking our dogs. My dog Mia, (or “Mia-Bia!” as Deb would say) was a big fan – and you know someone is a good person when a dog can’t get enough of them. Deb always had wonderful stories to share, words of encouragement, and an energy that felt like a shot of espresso the moment you met up with her. Deb – thank you for all of the chats, for the books, and for the compassion and humor you always so freely offered. You will be greatly missed – and never forgotten.
Dear Neale, I am so sorry for your loss. Deb was a sweet and beautiful woman. She always talked about you and the dogs.
She was also a big help when my brother-in-law John passed. She will always be in my memory. Prayers for you and her daughter. Ilona Dalphonse
My names is James MacWilliams and Deborah Duffet saved my life. I was one of Deb’s students in the ACO program at DHS 2002-2004. There is absolutely no chance I would be the man I am today without her honesty, kindness, love, and guidance. Deb’s influence on my life is something I could write a novella about. Deb is my HERO. I own her SO much, and hearing of her passing this morning makes me realize that the world is such a better place because of her impact on so many. She knew she couldn’t save us all, but she TRIED. Deb’s passing from this plane to the next leaves this one less good, but the next now has one of the best human beings to ever walk the earth. I love you Mrs. Duffet. THANK YOU SO MUCH
I love you Duffett and thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
Ohhhh Duffett, where do I begin? You have touched so many lives through your hard work and dedication as an ACO teacher!!! You took us bad apples and strugglers and loved us unconditionally.. You were always so straight forward and strong on us but with the kindest intentions behind every word you spoke.. when I was pregnant in high school you always made me think about my future!! When I dropped out you made sure I came back and even held my infant daughter while reading to our class so I could get closer to graduation.. when I couldn’t do it anymore you made sure I went and got my GED!!! Look at me now Duff you would be so proud… when I would call your home years after being your student you always answered… when I would pop in class to come visit you always had a big smile and a hug for me… You loved your cookies at lunch and was always positive and real!!! I watched you SAVE so many of us when the school system had given up.. this world will truly miss you I will truly miss you 🙁 we love you Mrs. Duffett may you live on forever in us kids that you turned into men and women and our children and their children!!
Everything
How to live life
1000’s of successful human beings
She saved so many of us and the ones she couldn’t She gave it her all!!!
Kind, strong, loving, strong will power, powerful, beacon of light, hope
She never gave up on you, she fought for you even when you stopped fighting!!!
Deb, i have known you since i was a kid. thanks for all the help, advice,positive energy, caring and love over the years. wouldn’t have graduated high school or gone onto umass amherst without you or been so successful.it’s been a pleasure to stay in touch with you over years and all your support. such a positive force in my life. miss you forever. ❤️jeff kelley.
Deb was generous beyond measure! She was dedicated to relieving the suffering of those who needed help. Deb was reliable and energetic. She definitely made the world a better place and I am so sorry that she is gone too soon. Many lonely hospice patients were comforted by her kindness.
When I heard the tragic news of Deb’s untimely death, I held her in my mind and one word emerged that encapsulated her spirit: generosity. Deb’s generosity of time, spirit, and materials seemed unlimited. She would think nothing of buying a set of sheets for a patient in need, spending copious amounts of time with an actively dying patient who was alone, and basically fulfilling whatever need she could find. If there was a space that needed to be filled, she would fill it, if she could. If I saw her in the office she would catch me and speak passionately about the hospice clients she was serving and brainstorm about how we could serve them better. She even had gifted me some spiritual materials to share with patients. It was as if she did not perceive her materials, time, or energy expressly as her own. These resources were a gift from God, that when shared with others, fulfilled her purpose.
We all need purpose and direction in life, no matter our hardships. Deb’s example was an excellent one. We can find our purpose and need in life by identifying what other people need and filling it. I pray that the spiritual resources that she fortified herself with over the years gave her the comfort that she needed to find peace. And , perhaps she was met by one or many of the hospice souls , whom she served, in her time of need. I pray she did not feel alone and I imagine many of you share that same wish.
The best way to honor anyone who has died is to remember the lessons that their life has taught us. I hope that we can step away from this remembrance and find a need and fill it for someone else. To make this world a little brighter place for others. Just as Deb would have done. May she be at peace forever and ever, amen.
Jennifer Mancini, Northern Light Spiritual Care Counselor
Debbie was my neighbor, friend, and fellow walker of the streets in our corner of North Deering. She seemed to know everyone and introduced me to many people. Her passing has left a hole not only in our neighborhood but in my life. She was such a fixture walking by my house each morning with Franklin, her cocker spaniel, in tow. Often, when she saw me inside reading the paper, she tapped on my window, even in winter, to discuss politics. Debbie loved an argument. She had a keen mind and generous heart. When my wife was recovering from a broken hip and have a tough time Debbie brought over a Giving Bear with a message of encouragement. She also arranged to get a walker in the neighborhood and delivered it to us. That is only one of that many kindnesses she bestowed on us. I miss Debbie sorely.I feel fortunate to have known her for the last 10-15 years.
Joe C.
I write to send my condolences to Neale. Both he and Deborah have lived lives of service. Best wishes in a terrifically hard time.
Regards, John Bass
Debb cared about people and believed everyone had the ability to be great.
Debb always gave good advice and was a great listener.
Debb was my cousin whom I loved dearly. She was so giving and helped me with and through life’s nuances. She was always just a phone call away. I do miss those calls. I expect you will show me you are near. That is your way. I love you Deb!!!!
You live on in the many lives you touched and changed for the better.
It was an honor to know you.
Thank you
Oh Boy… She met with .y Farher senior year..(my dad never attended any school”things”, so first of all…she convinced him to come in !! Ha After that, she tried to get me to join the Marines..hahahahahahah AS IF!!
I cannot thank her enough for her strong will and live if teaching. She and her Co worker Anita…helped make me realize LIFE was a blessing..take it and run! (But not to the Marines! haha) She helped me graduate on time knowing that was my goal. Bless her soul!
Deb would ask how I was doing when I saw her. She wax so kind I started delivering there paper last winter the first Sunday that I started delivering her neighborhood I saw her picking up. The papers I threw in other driveways I asked her what she was doing she said putting paper on porch so get you better tips. She always ask. If I was doing ok. She. Was. So nice she will be missed the world could use a lot more like her my heart goes out to her family
My condolences to Neale and to those who loved Deb.
Mrs. Duffett was a very big influence in my life, as her student she helped my in so many ways, if it wasn’t for her I don’t think I would be where I am today physically or spiritually, giving her love care and guidance to her students was something we will always remember her for, she was a strong woman with so much to offer, and I will forever cherish the special place she provided for us at Deering High School. She was a teacher of much more than just the academics, but also of many other aspects of life <3
Mrs. Duffett is the reason I was able to graduate high school and join the Navy. Deep down, I was trying to find hope somewhere else away from Portland and I’m torn inside to have lost such an amazing woman and teacher. 💔 I regret not reaching out all these years to share my experiences and learn about yours. You never gave up on us, and I am forever grateful and in your debt. I continue to cherish every letter you wrote to me during boot camp, and the yellow butterfly book. I’ve indeed found my “stripe.” Thank you for everything Mrs. Duffett. ❤️ I love you and I miss you. 🙏 My condolences to Mrs. Duffett’s family. ❤️
My heart broke when I heard the sad news. I was also a student of hers (class of 98) and am forever grateful to her. Duffett had the perfect balance of loving support and kick you in the a$$. We kept in touch over the years through xmas cards and I still have the gift she gave me at graduation (a 4×6 picture of the woods with sun shining through the trees onto the trail and the words, Cherish Today, Yesterday Is But A Dream, Tomorrow A Vision Of Hope, Look To This Day For It Is Life).
As I read through all the beautiful memories posted I’m overcome with tears and also some much needed laughter when her energy was compared to a shot of espresso. So true!
A few of my favorites:
“Her capacity for giving was vast and bottomless, and she has made this world an infinitely better place.”
“Deb always had wonderful stories to share, words of encouragement, and an energy that felt like a shot of espresso the moment you met up with her.”
“her tough, unconditional love and support quite literally saved my life”
Love you forever and always Duffett. ❤ XOXO
Deb was a kind friend always there when needed someone to talk to or just lend an ear. I miss your evening calls telling me what is on t v that night. And when i look out my window I still expect to look out window and see u and Franklin walking by. Baxter will miss u his 2nd Mom.
Deb lived in our neighborhood and we met when my husband Bob started walking our dog with hers. She was so warm and kind always willing to lend a hand, Loved all dogs.
I had the pleasure of working with Deb when she was a teacher in the ACO program and I was a teacher for the Teen Parent Program. She is also my neighbor and would bring her cocker spaniels to meet Gus, my cocker spaniel when Gus was alive. Later she would stop by so I could visit with Franklin. And yes, I know she was the one who would bring my paper to my doorstep. Deb had a heart of gold and was so caring of others, especially all the student’s lives she touched. She would walk EVERYWHERE and I marveled at her energy. What a loss to the community and to her family. My condolences to her family.
Murphy could spot Deb a few blocks away
Condolences to Neal and Family for such a terrible loss. Collette and I are thinking of you Neal and Family. RIP Deborah. From Pete and Collette Conley
I worked with Deb in the early days of the Alternative Program. To say she was dedicated to her students and tenacious in advocating for them and the program is an understatement. I’m sure her work impacted many lives. Her presence will be missed. My condolences to her family.
Deepest sympathy ❤️
Commander Duffett was a outstanding officer and a great person to work for.
I am so late in getting this out but the sentiment is still strong, believe me. I had the pleasure of working with Deb at Deering High School for many years. She was simply extraordinary and the numerous testimonies here by former students, colleagues, and friends is testament to her magnificent impact to our school and the larger Portland community. I consider Deb a superb colleague and a dear friend. She will be greatly missed.